EXCERPTS FROM PUBLICATIONS

July 28, 2010 excerpt: An excerpt from the book, “Beyond Condemnation to Freedom” by Rebecca Born and Rachel Davis
 

From Forgiveness to Freedom

© 2010 for permission to use contact: www.connectionssp.org


    So often I have heard people say "I know I have to forgive, so God will forgive me".  This belief is generally thought to be related to Matthew 6:12, 14 - 15.

    Believing that God's love and forgiveness is based on who he is and not on who I am or what I do, I decided to look at  this scripture from its original language: Greek/Hebrew. 

What does Matthew 6:12 (the Lord’s Prayer) tell us?
“Forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors” According to Thayer’s Greek Lexicon ‘debts’ are obligations that we are bound to, or things we owe. (Such as commitments, promises, promissory notes, etc.)

Note: Matthew 6:14 and 15 does not use the word ‘debt’ rather it uses the word ‘trespass’. And according to Thayer’s Greek Lexicon ‘trespass’ is a deviation from truth and uprightness.

Why the distinction between ‘debts’ and ‘trespasses’?

  • This distinction is significant because the Lord’s prayer encourages us to forgive those who are obligated to us or owe us something. While we are forgiven for the things we owe or are obligated to.
  • Whereas Matthew 6:14 and 15 encourages us to forgive those who behaved towards us in ways that are a deviation from truth and likewise we are forgiven when we have deviated from truth.

Matthew 6: 14 - 15:
For if you forgive men when they trespass against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses your Father will not forgive you.
 

  • Forgive - to disregard or separate from (Thayer’s Greek Lexicon)
  • ‘Heavenly’ is not used in the second part of the scripture, reminding us of the relational aspect of God as our parent.

Understanding Matthew 6:14 and 15:
“For if you separate yourselves from the people who behaved towards you in ways that deviated from truth, then your heavenly Father will separate you from your behaviors that were a deviation from truth. But if you do not separate from those who behaved towards you in ways that were a deviation from truth, then (the relationship aspect of) your Father will not separate you from your behaviors that are a deviation from truth.


How does this understanding of forgiveness relate to sex abuse?

  • Sex abuse is a deviation from the truth of how children are to be treated.
  • When this deviation occurs the victim begins to cling to the messages spoken or implied during the abuse. Often forming a 'power of agreement'  with it.
  • If we cling to those messages we are clinging to a deviation from truth about how God loves us and who He says we are.
  • The lies we believe about ourselves become barriers to relating to God in truth.
  • If we Don't separate from those lies, he can't force us to see ourselves as he sees us.
  • And he can’t force us to relate to him, ourselves, and others in truth.
  • Therefore, we keep ourselves tied to the perpetrator, the abuse, as well as the lies and behaviors we developed as a result of sex abuse.

* God longs for us to relate to him and others in the truth of who He says we are. This is why he urges us to ‘forgive’ or separate from those lies, misbeliefs, and behaviors.

How does this understanding of forgiveness relate to Ephesians 2:6-9?:
“For it is grace you have been saved through faith - and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God - not by works, so that no one should boast”.

  • Translated from Thayer's Greek Lexicon this verse is saying:

For it is loving-kindness that has rescued you from danger or perishing by the act of believing that God exists and bestows eternal salvation through Christ. That it is absolutely not by ANYTHING you have been occupied with or accomplished, so that you do not receive the glory (for being rescued).
 

  • If we believe that it is in our forgiving others that we are saved, then we are in danger of taking the glory that rightfully belongs to Jesus.
  • Our eternal salvation is through Christ alone.
  • Therefore it is not our salvation that is at risk when we do not forgive (or separate from deviations of truth), rather it is our relationship with our Father/parent that is limited.
  • Our ability to fully relate to ourselves and others is also hindered, as we are not living out of truth.

Forgiveness is the opportunity to be free:

  • It doesn't mean you are letting someone off the hook,.
  • It doesn’t mean that it doesn’t matter what the perpetrator did.
  • It actually means that what the perpetrator did was a deviation from truth.
  • It means that you should separate from the lies and behaviors (and even the perpetrators) that came about as a result of the abuse.

 

This scripture is saying that what they did to you was so wrong,
that you should separate yourselves from them.

 

Glossary from Thayer's Greek Lexicon
Matthew 6:12, 14-15

  • Debt - ofeileema - that which is justly due. Obligation or bound to some duty
  • Forgive - afieeme - to let go of or to disregard or separate from
  • Trespass - paraptoomatos - a lapse or deviation from truth and uprightness
Ephesians 2:8-9
  • Saved - soozoo - rescued from danger, suffering, perishing
  • Grace - sharis - good will, loving-kindness, favor, divine influence
  • Through - dia - a motion or act
  • Faith - pistis - belief, conviction that God exists and is a bestower of eternal salvation through Christ
  • Not - ou - absolutely and accented "no"
  • Yourselves - humoon - man
  • Of God - Theos - diety, the one and only God, separate from gods and godesses
  • Gift - dooron - gift, present
  • Works - ergon - that with which anyone is occupied, anything accomplished
  • Should boast - kauchaomai - to glory