3 Lies That Cause Great Suffering

Uncategorized Sep 19, 2017

The greatest source of suffering is the lies we tell ourselves.

Perhaps an astonishing sentence in light of my grasp of the evil of sex abuse and its impact.  I can say that because I know that it is the impact of sex abuse that keeps the suffering in place.  And the deep destructive impact is what you now believe about yourself.

These lies produce the greatest suffering because:

1.      The lie is a poison running through your thoughts, to your heart, emotions and behaviors.  The lie creates a paradigm that reinforces despair and hurt.  That is suffering

2.      The lies separate you from the truth of you and all that you have inside to influence the world.  You experience longing, questioning and feel adrift, unable to feel fulfilled. You suffer suspecting you are missing something that you cannot quite name.

  • I am not enough. No matter the form this lie takes, at its core is the minimizing of your capabilities and the burying of your potential.  Sometimes this lie manages expectations, i.e., I do not have to face possible failure.  It keeps you trapped in fear and anxiety with a loss of power. 
  • Everything is my fault. I can feel the heaviness and burden in this lie.  My shoulders hurt just thinking about it.  In a bizarre twist, this lie can be a form of feeling powerful, often because you might not want to know the reality of being unsafe.  The lie says if I am the one who causes things, I can find a way to make it stop.  It keeps you living in “should’s” a form of suffering all its own.


  • I don’t matter. This one has a double edge to it.  It explains the mistreatment and sets you up for accepting further disregard.  Moreover, if you believe the lie and feel what it implies, the pain is immobilizing and paralyzing. 

I know that these lies have been born from circumstances you have experienced.  They feel true, and it does not seem possible that you can shift these lies.  Ah, but you can.  Consider these questions:

1.      How do you react when you believe that lie? 

2.      Whom would I be without that thought?

3.      Can you see a reason to drop or change that thought?

4.      List the evidence you have from safe people that says the opposite.

5.      Use your power of agreement and align with the truth!

You have power to bring relief to this form of suffering!

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